38 Reasons
by hoktauri
Summary: John sends Rodney the wrong message in a staff meeting.


As Dr. Weir continued explaining the details of the new trade agreement, John peered at Rodney across the conference table. This was more of a Teyla/Elizabeth meeting anyway; if he checked out for a couple of minutes, he wouldn't be missed.

He wondered what Rodney was doing on his laptop. Pulling open his own computer, he snuck a glance at Weir. She was speaking directly to one of the botanists and didn't even notice that John wasn't paying attention.

John typed out a message to Rodney. _What ya doing over there?_

When Rodney paused in his typing, he glanced up at Weir first, then smirked at John, typing furiously in reply.

_Got a meeting with Zelenka later. We're going over the specs on the ZPM factory._

John raised an eyebrow. He'd heard them talking about the possibility of ZPM manufacture. Someone at Area 52-the Pegasus equivalent of Area 51, located on the Alpha Site-seemed to be making headway with the Ancient energy source. Rodney tried to pretend he was jealous, but John could tell he was just excited to finally see progress. He also got the inkling that, while scientific discovery was still at the top of Rodney's list, he wouldn't give up the off-world missions for more time in the lab. John smiled, and typed his reply.

_Cool._

_That's it?_ Rodney replied. _Just... *cool*?_

_Yep._

Rodney rolled his eyes at John. _Christ, even your typing is laconic._

John laughed, and that caught Weir's attention.

"Was there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?" she asked, a small smirk playing at the corner of her mouth.

"Nope," John replied.

Dr. Weir returned her attention to Teyla and the botanist. Something about testing for soil depletion on the mainland.

John opened a couple of files when he saw Rodney had returned to his own work.

The first file was a list of goals he'd started for the Expedition when he became the military commander. Nothing fancy, just a list that continued to grow as they continued to encounter newer and more demanding problems. _Find ZPMs. Find an Alpha Site. Destroy the Wraith. Resign._

His mouth twitched a little at the last one, so he erased it. That was a long time ago, before John had grown comfortable in his position, before he'd fallen in love.

_With the city,_ he told himself.

John opened another message window and sent the file to Rodney with a note: _Guess we can cross off that second one, huh?_

Rodney paused in his typing, heaving a sigh, and after a moment's perusal, twitched an eyebrow up and peered at John. Confused didn't begin to cover the expression on his face. He typed a short reply.

_Why, did you start preferring iced coffee recently?_

Now it was John's turn to be confused. _No..._ John gave Rodney a shrug, then typed out: _?_

Rodney typed something out and hit his "enter" key with a dramatic flair.

_And I quote: "It's best when it's all steamed up."_

John didn't have access to a mirror at the moment, but he could almost _feel_ himself grow pale. Something sunk in the pit of his stomach as he switched from his first file to the other. He'd sent the wrong damned one.

He must have given himself away, because he noticed Rodney quickly scanning his computer screen. _Shit, shit, shit, __**shit**__._ John scanned the list quickly, trying to determine which ones would require the most damage control. Although he'd made the list in such a way that no one would ever discover what it really meant, it was now in Rodney's hands. And Rodney knew John all too well.

True enough, another message pinged him. Rodney sat smugly across the conference table, arms folded, leaning back in his chair. His mouth was quirked in the way that John couldn't resist-that hadn't made the list, because John couldn't figure out a way to disguise it in his own coding. But it would have been number one.

He opened Rodney's new message.

_Since when do you take coffee to the beach?_

_Um._

Rodney rolled his eyes at the reply. _Brilliant response. You know, I actually agree with most of these reasons, but I didn't know __**you**__ were such a connoisseur._

_Yeah?_ Maybe John would actually be able to walk away from this one. Except part of him didn't want to.

_Yes, although I have to ask about #16._

John scrolled through his own list, landing on the number in question: _16. It starts some pretty decent riots around the city when there's not enough to go around._

John grinned and typed his reply. _I can see why you wouldn't agree. Considering it usually affects you the most when we run out. ;-)_

_Don't you wink at me with an emoticon, Colonel._

_How 'bout IRL?_

John caught Rodney's eye when he looked up from the message and gave him his best wink.

Rodney turned a bright shade of pink and ducked his face behind his laptop monitor.

John tuned into the meeting enough to catch Teyla speaking about the upcoming harvest. He tuned out again. They still didn't need his input. Or Rodney's.

_We should be paying attention to Elizabeth._ Rodney messaged.

John thought about that a moment, and typed his reply.

_What do you think about #18?_

Rodney shifted behind his laptop, then peeked over the monitor at him. He typed back, a little hesitantly, John thought.

_Agreed._

John frowned. Now Rodney was being laconic.

He almost typed, _Stop doing me,_ then erased it, cause really, he wouldn't want _that_ to stop if it ever happened. He replied, instead, _Stop using my tactics._ Then, with a small grin, he hit send.

Rodney rolled his eyes. John wondered if the advice "They'll get stuck like that" had been invented specifically for Rodney McKay.

_#17 is kind of odd._ Rodney replied.

John tabbed over the document from the message window: _17. Sometimes it burns, but my tongue is forgiving._

His grin disappeared to be replaced by a scowl. How to explain it without revealing the truth? He reached for his coffee mug for the first time during the meeting. Rodney was right-he was no connoisseur. But sipping would buy him time to think.

_And what about 19?_ Rodney sent, before John had a chance to reply to the first one. _Not every coffee has a smooth, rich body._

John spewed his sip of coffee all over his laptop.

All eyes in the room were immediately on John Sheppard.

"Is everything all right?" Teyla asked.

"I'm sorry," the botanist-what the hell was his name again?-said. "I didn't mean to imply that you would have to _live_ on the mainland, Colonel."

"No, no," John said, waving his hand in dismissal. He hoped to hell they thought he'd been listening, and he took the out as it was offered. "I overreacted."

Rodney huffed a sigh and walked around the table, picking up John's laptop. "Come on, let's clean this up before it ruins the circuitry. The SGC won't like having to replace the damn thing."

John nodded. "Sorry, Elizabeth."

"I'll send you the minutes on the rest of the meeting," Dr. Weir said. He saw her shaking her head as he left the conference room with Rodney.

"What the hell was that?" Rodney asked when the conference room doors finished closing.

"Let's just go clean up the computer," John said, starting to walk towards the labs.

"No, I don't think so," Rodney said. "I mean, seriously." Rodney ran his sleeve over the keyboard of John's laptop and keyed over to the document. "Number 30: 'It is startlingly oblivious to its fan club.' The fact that you've started to anthropomorphize coffee is a little disconcerting. Not to mention, I hardly ever see you drink the stuff outside of breakfast or a meeting."

"I like to stay awake during meetings," John said, continuing down the corridor. Rodney caught up to him.

"And yet, 'keeps me awake during the boring meetings' somehow _didn't_ make the list?"

John shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say here, Rodney. So I made a list of reasons why I love coffee. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is, when you realized you sent me this instead of whatever else you meant to send, you looked really freaked out about it."

John stopped. Damn. How'd he miss that Rodney was that perceptive?

"Is this about Teyla?"

Okay, now he was just being obtuse.

"This list, it's about Teyla, isn't it? And you don't want anyone thinking that the two of you are... well, are you? I mean, like in secret?"

"It wouldn't be a secret if I told you, but _no,_ I am not seeing Teyla."

They entered the lab and Rodney pried the cover off the laptop's keyboard. He peered over the workings underneath. "I think you mostly hit the screen," he said, dabbing carefully at one of the motherboards with a cotton swab. He replaced the cover and took out a box of lens-cleaning towels, then wiped the screen clean. He closed the laptop and handed it over.

"Is it Ronon?" Rodney asked.

It was John's turn to roll his eyes. "It isn't Ronon, either."

"But you're admitting I'm right-it's not about coffee?"

"I'm not admitting anything at this point," John said, and he tucked his laptop beneath his arm and walked out of the lab.

* * *

There was a soft knock on John's door, just as he was about to crawl into bed. He sighed. On the other side, of course, was Rodney. He held a sheet of paper in his hands.

"Jesus, Rodney, did you print that thing out?"

Rodney pushed past John into the room. It was then that John noticed, in the silvery moonlight that shone through his window, that Rodney looked kind of scared.

_Oh, shit._

"'38 reasons why I love coffee,'" Rodney said, then he chuckled. "Should've figured it out sooner."

John folded his arms. "Figured what out?"

"It's dated July 30th, 2004. The day we got stuck in the wormhole. You had that..." Rodney made a motion toward his throat, but thankfully didn't mention it.

"I was stuck in the infirmary, with nothing else to do, Rodney," John said. All the same, he closed the door to his quarters. If he was about to come out of the closet to Rodney, he sure as hell didn't want anyone else to hear it.

"Yes, yes, of course," Rodney said, with a sigh. "We had 38 minutes to figure it out or die, so you wrote 38 reasons why you love _coffee?_"

"No, Rodney, it isn't about the damn coffee," John said, sitting down on the side of his bed. "You already know that."

"I'm guessing it's not about Elizabeth," Rodney replied, sitting down next to him. "She's not exactly 'off-world in front of a roaring campfire' much."

John shook his head. "Nope." Part of him hated making Rodney guess. He figured Rodney already knew the answer, he was just stalling, hoping he wouldn't have to say it-or hoping it wasn't true.

"That leaves just one person," Rodney said. He took in a large breath. "Colonel Caldwell."

John made a face, one to express how deeply that idea disturbed him, and stared at Rodney. Then they both started laughing.

After their laughter subsided, Rodney sighed. "John, why didn't you say anything before?"

"What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, Rodney, I like the way you keep us from getting killed on a regular basis'? Or how about 'Hey, Rodney, I think it's kind of hot when you berate the scientists'?"

"Those would be great places to start," Rodney said with a smug grin.

"There are regs, you know I can't. Anyway, what about Katie and Alina and all those other-decidedly _non-male_-people you keep going after?"

"What about you?" Rodney fumed. "That chick in the Ascendo-garden or whatever it was, and _Chaya_, do I _even_ really need to go there?"

"Please, don't," John said. "I guess I just got used to hiding it and I figured a tryst on _another planet_ wouldn't hurt anything."

"That's just ridiculous," Rodney said.

"Okay, what's your excuse?" John said, crossing his arms. "I can hide behind military regs, but _you_ can't."

Rodney gave him a hurt look. "People already hated me enough," he whispered. "Didn't want to add to it." He chuckled ruefully. "Guess you could say I chose my head over my heart."

"Rodney..."

"Look, I'll just pretend I don't know, and we can go back to being friends," Rodney said, bringing himself into a sterner posture. "Or, you know, the way things were."

"The way things were is that we were friends," John said pointedly. "_Are_ friends."

Rodney attempted a smile.

John pulled the list from Rodney's hands. "Did you even read number 34?" He pointed to it, and Rodney read it out loud.

"'It's brought me some of my best moments. Most of them actually'."

"That's _you_, Rodney, not coffee," John said and he put his hands on Rodney's arms and pulled him into an Athosian embrace. "And don't you forget it."

"I actually liked number ten," Rodney said. "'It gets my heart racing'."

John's hand rubbed lightly across the back of Rodney's neck. Rodney was _right there_ and... damn it, all John could think of were coffee metaphors. The idea of Rodney's smooth, rich body under his own sent butterflies straight to his stomach and shivering up his spine.

"Hey, Rodney," John said softly. "I like the way you keep us from getting killed on a regular basis."

Rodney smiled. "Hey, John, I can't get my day started without you, either."

It was John's turn to smile as he tilted Rodney's head in his grasp, moving to meet Rodney's lips with his own. The kiss was new, possibly to both of them but definitely to John. Rodney's thin warm lips parted gently with the barest of teasing, and John slipped his tongue in at the invitation.

"Hey, Rodney," John breathed, pausing a moment in their new exploration of each other.

"Yeah?" Rodney looked up at him, his eyes hopeful, filled with the same delight John saw there whenever Rodney handled a ZPM.

John smiled at the thought of being able to inspire such happiness in one person.

"Wanna go out for coffee sometime?"

~The List~

38 Reasons Why John Loves Coffee

1. Bitter or sweet, it's always fine.  
2. It's best when it's all steamed up.  
3. Not many people can actually handle it bitter, but sometimes that's the way I prefer it.  
4. Can't get my day started without it.  
5. While some can only enjoy certain roasts, I think every flavor has its perks.  
6. If I go too long without it, I go a little numb.  
7. Although many claim it's unhealthy in large doses, I can never get enough.  
8. Whether light or dark, it keeps me on my toes.  
9. Studies show it can boost a person's sex drive.  
10. It gets my heart racing.  
11. It's always around for the best conversations.  
12. It's good to bring on a mission in case something goes wrong.  
13. The aroma is heavenly.  
14. A trip to the beach on the mainland isn't complete without it.  
15. It can both excite me and calm me down.  
16. It starts some pretty decent riots around the city when there's not enough to go around.  
17. Sometimes it burns, but my tongue is forgiving.  
18. It's an adventure to find the subtle tones under the dominant flavors.  
19. The smooth, rich body gives me butterflies in my stomach.  
20. It's the best thing to have on a cold night off-world in front of a roaring campfire.  
21. Some people just can't handle it. Which is fine. More for me.  
22. It makes some people jittery, which is kinda fun to watch.  
23. You have to know how to handle it without burning it, or you won't like its bite.  
24. I've loved learning how to handle it.  
25. I like its bite anyway.  
26. There are many ways to enjoy it, if you take the time to learn.  
27. Usually bold, rarely mild, is my favorite form.  
28. Sometimes I think I might go nuts if I don't get it into my system.  
29. It has addictive properties but I love it all the same.  
30. It is startlingly oblivious to its fan club.  
31. It's great to have after finishing a mission.  
32. It's great to have after failing a mission.  
33. I know everything will be all right when it's around. Even if the Wraith do show up.  
34. It's brought me some of my best moments. Most of them, actually.  
35. It's always around when I need a friend.  
36. It's the best thing to have around when there's a deadline.  
37. Love it best when propped on a comfy couch w/ a good book or a movie.  
38. Best excuse to go play in the labs and let my closet geek run loose awhile.


End file.
